I joke that I have no self-esteem problems.
And in some ways, I don’t. I look in the mirror every day and smile because I like what I see. There’s nothing you could say to me about my body that could offend me.
But mention my mind? Or certain aspects of my personality…and I will want to crawl into a hole and die. I constantly worry that I’m not smart enough, or nice enough, or interesting enough. When people around me are having in-depth conversations or arguing about something important to them, I have a tendency to shut my mouth in fear of saying something stupid. Or I’ll have no idea what they’re talking about and feel like a complete idiot. When I’m hanging out with someone and there’s a long silence, I worry that I’m boring them and I try desperately to think of something to say or something fun to do. Sometimes I’ll do something selfish and want to kick myself for not being nicer or for not being a better friend.
My friends are wonderful, intelligent, interesting, kind people and sometimes I feel like I’m nowhere near worthy of them.
Okay, I am EXACTLY the same way. In an “I feel like I wrote this post” sort of way.
But, for the record, I think you’re awesome :D
